| Location | Ravenswood, West Virginia |
| Age | 50 years |
| Cause of Death | Septicemia |
| Date of Birth | 04/01/1959 |
| Date of Death | 10/03/2009 |
| Visitors | 1,050 since 26/03/2009 |
| Creator |
Joan Weldon did not have an easy life. But what was remarkable about her was her courage, humor and strength in overcoming what many other people might have seen as debilitating obstacles. Not one to complain or offer excuses, Joan lived a full life even though she had to use a wheelchair most of her life and, later, a ventilator at night.
I met Joan when I started dating her sister Denise in 1991. She lived at home with her Mom and Dad. Although she only attended school for less than a year because of her illness, she was home schooled and smart. As I got to know her over the years, I realized more and more that, although somewhat sheltered, she was in touch with the world around her and enjoyed crafts, games, music and movies. Joan even had a scanner so she could keep tabs on what the police and the locals were doing around town! She often cooked and I always complained how badly she made the salad or desert, and she in turn would criticize whatever I had brought or prepared. Joan had a sharp sense of humor and often made perceptive comments about the foibles of others. We also shared a love for dogs and told stories about our respective animals; her Scottish terrier and our black lab.
Although I often suggested she needed to get a computer and surf the net, she resisted the idea for some time...but then she got Web TV and was hooked. Soon she had a desktop computer and began learning about websites, graphic design, and computer art. We often emailed each other about current events, gossip and advocacy issues for those with disabilities. And of course how superior our last meal prep was compared to each other's!
Five years ago, Joan had a serious breathing crisis and we almost lost her. Now she could no longer be at home. She needed a ventilator at night and had to be admitted to an out-of-state nursing facility. It took her two years of determination and fight to get back home, but she did it. Again, she overcame resistance, skepticism and bureaucratic delay, and became an example of how a person can live a quality life in their own community and not shut away in an institution she didn't need. She was so proud and happy to be home and now an "employer" for her "attendants". But even with the monthly painful trach tube changes, she rarely complained. Interestingly, the respiratory therapist who worked with her in the nursing facility drove to her home every month to do this procedure free as he had got to know Joan as a friend rather than a patient. Likewise, her "employees", who assisted in the nightly vent care, became her special friends who shared their lives together.
She also had close relationships with others she met and got to know on the internet. Joan created her own web site for teaching others how to use the computer, develop web sites, and create graphics and pictures. Her work can be seen at http://jojosdes.ipower.com.
Some of her pictures can be viewed at the "My 3D World" link and an interview with her is found at http://www.planit3d.com:80/source/interviews/jojo/jojo1.html.
This short eulogy can not do justice for the life and gift that Joan gave to us who knew her. But it hopefully gives a glimpse of what she meant to me. I hope others have the opportunity to view her website and post remembrances and pictures here. I certainly miss her, but I am only sad for myself. For Joan, she is free of the wheelchair, the vent and the trach changes...but...they never really were a hindrance to her.
Gone but not forgotten.
Joanie and I met when she joined our graphics and modelers site planIT 3D. She wasn't there long before I asked her to be a moderator. She said she was surprised since she was fairly new to the site but she jumped at the chance to moderate different forums. She was a tireless advocate for artwork and games. She kept us all laughing and I loved her zest for life and all that is in it. We played games online and tried to top one another. She was so good at gaming and I think it was one of her favorite things to do online. We infrequently had server problems and we would be offline for a few hours while the powers that be tried to get things going again. The minute it happened I could expect an email to my personal account from Joanie saying, "We're down again, can you get in?" I would try to get to the site and it wouldn't work so I would let her know that it's not just her, I couldn't get on either. We would laugh at the situation and I would promise to let her know the second I found us reconnected again.
At one point, I had some health concerns. An on-the-job accident had left me with two herniated disks in my lower back and I was in constant pain. The administrator position that I held, would provide me hours of fun and doing my artwork online while keeping my mind off of my troubles. Joanie had seen that I was having problems and she commiserated with me.and let me know that she had physical disabilities also. She never went into detail and I never asked, it was enough to know that she shared that with me and we were kindred spirits with physical limitations in common.
Joanie kept us laughing and she was smart as a whip which meant that most of the time she would easily be the winner in each gaming category she chose. None of the other admins knew of her disability and I kept her council on that. When she hadn't been online for a week or so I emailed her and got no response. I knew something was wrong since she never would be out of touch like that. I worried more but had no way of knowing anything else. Then one day while I was on FaceBook, I thought about going to Joanie's page to see when she was last there since we were in each other's friend list. When I got there, I was shocked to see friends posting their sorrow at her passing. I was speechless and wrote to one of the friends asking what happened and telling them who I was and how I knew Joanie. The person had worked with her and had helped care for her at a facility she went to and they explained what happened. I was devastated. If I had only one more time to read her concern, her love of learning art and her funny personality and caring for others. But it was too late for that. I said a heartfelt prayer to her and let her know how much she affected our lives at planIT 3D and how much she was missed.
She is truly an angel and I am also sure that Heaven is just a bit brighter now that Joanie has taken up residence there. We love and miss you Joanie.
Sincerely,
Kathie Berry aka Damsel
Casting Ashes Upon the Water
On Sunday, August 30, there was as informal ceremony to spread Joan's ashes upon the Ohio River at the park in Ravenswood. She spent many enjoyable hours there with friends and family and had previously requested this be done after her death.
Denise read a remembrance which is posted below titled, "Irish Poem", which was provided by Georgene. Roses were then cast into the River by each of us present, and Denise offered one more for Dottie. Mom remained in the car but was able to observe us on the dock. Present were Joan's mother, Joanne, and her brother OJ and sister Denise, as well as her close friends Georgene with her husband Paul with two of their children, Carol, and me. Joan's sister Debbie was unable to attend as she was with company at their lake house.
It was a beautiful day with bright sun light and white clouds against a blue sky. We all said out goodbyes once again and seemed to reflect easier on the good times we had together with Joan rather than the more painful recollection of loss since her leaving.
The marker which we had been waiting for was finally placed in the cemetery at her Father's Owen's grave. We went to see it and when starting to leave, the car wouldn't start. We commented that Joan and Dad were ganging up on us and were harassing us! OJ came to the rescue and we all got home without incident.
It was a good day to be together in honor of Joan.
Here is what Denise read:
IRISH POEM
When we lose someone we love it seems that time stands still.
What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness,
A longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch,
We may not understand why you left this earth so soon, Or why you left before we were ready to say goodbye,
But little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived,
And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget.
We will see you again someday, in a heavenly place where there is no parting,
A place where there are no words that mean goodbye.
Although it is difficult to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back help comfort your tomorrow.
Death becomes a heartache no one can heal,
Love becomes a memory no one can steal.
God graced us with your presence,
Left us with your essence,
To forever live in our hearts,
My friend never do us part.
When someone becomes a memory,
A memory becomes a treasure.
We will miss you Forever and ever.
What Joanie Meant To Me
Joanie always made me smile and was a very upbeat person. Joanie never felt sorry for herself, she made me laugh after Chuck died. Joan did everything anybody else could, but she did it from a wheel chair. When I was with her I didn't see a wheel chair. She inspired me by not feeling sorry for herself and teaching me to go with the flow. I am very blessed to have known her and be with her for two years. Joanie was not only my employer, but a good friend. I loved her dearly. On Saturday and Sunday nights I would kiss her goodnight. She would remark: "I already have a Mother!"
I will miss her very much, she will always be in my heart.
Carol Winland
My Twin
I have known Joanie for 3 years. Right away there was a connection! Gradually she let her guard down and we became best friends. We would spend anywhere from 45 to 90 hours a week together. We were so close that I always said we were twins separated at birth 10 years apart! It depends on which one you would ask, who was older! We have laughed, cried and been angry together many times. She helped me thru the toughest time in my life; the loss of my mother - if it wasn't for Joanie I would not have stayed sane.
I am so thankful and feel so blessed to have had her in my life if only for a short time. When the time came for her to leave this Earth I feel so privileged that I was there by her side along with her family and friends. Her talent, spirit, and gift of love to those who knew her best will forever live in our hearts! A few months ago a couple of inspirational lines came to me in a dream
"ONCE A SOLITARY PRISONER ON EARTH
NOW A VOLUNTARY ANGEL IN HEAVEN"
My friend go walk in Heaven and meet me at the gate when my time comes. I will forever miss you more than you will know. This is not goodbye just see you later.
I love you.
Your Best Friend,
Georgene
MY FOREVER FRIEND
I met Joanie through the internet ten years ago. We became fast friends and spent time talking almost every day. She had a heart of gold. She was very witty, loved to have fun and make others laugh. Joanie was well known, admired, and highly respected in the internet community and her websites received numerous internet awards from her peers for excellence and quality. Even when she was busy, she was always happy to see me and listen to me talk about my day. In the evenings, she would end our conversations with “Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”
Joanie was wise, had great insight into people, and had a lot of compassion for others. She was a wonderful friend and confidant who valued friendship and never took it for granted. She had a special place in her heart for animals, especially wolves and Scottish Terriers. She admired the way wolves bonded for life, and I saw that quality in Joanie as well. She was the strongest person I have ever known. She was independent and never complained or felt sorry for herself.
Joanie loved her family, and she loved living at home in West Virginia. She got so excited at Christmas and loved decorating her tree every year. She loved her caregivers, as well as their families, and genuinely appreciated the things they did for her. She loved to go shopping. Those were special times for Joanie. She looked forward to them and would share the highlights of those trips with me. I am thankful that God brought Georgene, Carol and Sonia into Joanie’s life, for they became her closest and dearest friends. I was comforted knowing they loved her and were looking out for her.
Ten years passed quickly and the angels came to escort Joanie to heaven. Joanie was a once-in-a-lifetime friend and will live forever in my heart. I miss her and will always cherish the memories of our time together. The legacy she left me was the importance of facing problems and dealing with them, but not allowing problems to consume our lives, but to make time for fun whenever possible… because life is short.
I know that when I see Joanie again, she will be easy to recognize. She’ll be the one with the quick smile and intense eyes, running ahead of the others, skipping and jumping, with arms open wide…. happy to see me.
“Goodnight. Sweet dreams” my forever friend. I’ll always love you.
Dottie Huntsinger
March 12, 2009
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